Routines etcetera

Caring for someone with a terminal illness can be very draining. Although I'm not in bad spirits... I have the idea stuck in my head of getting a dog. A small one. From the SPCA.


I will be moving into my new apartment at the end of August, at the same time as starting a new job (which I feel very under qualified for), caring for my mom and I just thought - let's throw an abandoned puppy that will crap everywhere for the first two weeks into the mix!


I'm trying to jazz up my blogging style as an attempt to get even 1 follower. Although, let's face it - who wants to read about a 24 year old and her dying mother. There are FAR more interesting things to read out there like Sarah's blog - far more sophisticated than mine and cheers me up no end. Check it out - www.sapporosarah.blogspot.com


Anyway - this blog was supposed to be about routines and how messed up they can get. In particular - how messed up my routine is at the moment. I tend to stay up very late keeping my mom company while she watches TV, either writing this blog or catching up with friends via but a lot of the time I search the web aimlessly trying to find something interesting to do or read. Eventually when my mother falls asleep on the sofa I try to wake her and get her into bed and go to bed myself. Consequently, I would wake exhausted and ended up sleeping in the day at the same times as my mother would sleep. Now when she goes to bed I am not very tired as have slept for several hours during the day and end up having to take one of hr sleeping tablets which make one feel really groggy in the morning. Hence the exhaustion or lack of now. It's a vicious cycle that I seem to have gotten into.


Taking mom for blood tests was hard today. There is no parking inside the hospital so we had to walk from a spot I found not so far away. They won't even let you drop people off inside and ten find a spot! She was very weak and had to hold on to me. We had to stop several times for her to rest. I am so strong for most things to do with her and he illness but little things just make the reality of her cancer too clear - she was frail today like an old lady. She has mentioned on several occasions that she is tired of life and fed up with her body. She gets 'electricity' in her legs and can't sleep because she's so restless. Tonight she's gone to bed with a headache (from brain tumours) and there's nothing I can do.


Have just heard her bedroom door open so will go and see if she's OK.


Until tomorrow - if I can be bothered to write to nobody!


Anonymous Apple x